What do you do after you found out that your children have been sexually abused?
According to an article on RAINN.org,
"It’s important to find a way to manage your feelings, so you can focus on creating a safe environment for your child that is free from harm, judgment, and blame."
"Disclosure of a child's sexual abuse is a traumatic event for mothers. Life is difficult and stressful, and mothers experience many painful emotions. They are worried about their children and are concerned about the effects and long-term consequences of the sexual abuse. They may have been involved with the report of abuse. Following the disclosure, they are usually involved with community agencies, including law enforcement, social services, child abuse assessment centers, and the court system. Mothers experience strong emotions, initially feeling shock and denial, and often going through a grief process that includes anger, intense pain, and confusion. Mothers are afraid and anxious and often show signs of posttraumatic stress. If the perpetrator is a husband, partner, other family member, or friend, mothers experience feelings of betrayal.
Mothers often have no one around them that understands what they are going through, and they may have very little support. Sometimes mothers are blamed by others and told that the abuse is their fault. They are often given harmful advice and told not to believe the child or not to report. If the perpetrator is the mother's partner or one of her other children, feelings of pain, anger, and confusion increase. Difficult decisions are required in order to protect children. If the perpetrator is a husband, partner, other family member, or friend, mothers experience feelings of betrayal. It may be far easier to accept that a stranger has abused your child, even though a devastating discovery, than to find out that someone you loved and trusted harmed your child."
So the question is
HOW DO YOU MANAGE YOUR FEELINGS after you dealt with the legal procedures?!
You feel shocked, hurt, betrayed, guilty, angry & sad by someone you trusted your child with. And your feelings are completely valid & true.
The guilt of being a Mother when someone hurt your child is a pain that's hard to release but absolutely critical to work through in order to for your family to move on & create a new future together.
In order to be there physically & emotionally for your children, the old myth of "fake it until you make it" is NOT going to work, because, children are sensitive and they will feel it when you are inauthentic.
And that is why you have to cultivate time & space for yourself to heal & release those feelings.
And because that is the only way to show your children they can become happy despite what had happened to them, by healing & transform within you first, and notice the positive effects ripple out in your family.
We will provide 3 coaching sessions to help guide you through this healing process in Re-starting your life,
we will focus into 3 sections in each coaching sessions as listed below.
When we have enough women sign up, we are hoping to host a donation-based membership weekly gathering to share, support & heal together.
The donations collected is to use towards materials used for the gathering.
"The past is in the past" they said.
But as many researches have shown, our body carries our past emotional memories, and our brain runs largely based on our past patterns.
So we will focus on analyzing on your past patterns, learn awareness self-check-in tools, and ways to process, release and work on self-forgiveness.
Gratitude is a powerful tool to change how you see the world around you.
In this session, you will learn ways to practice gratitude in your busy life, as well as other self care tips to nurture & love yourself so you can recharge your love battery for your children.
If you wander around without the clarity of where you are going, your brain will run your default setting and take you down the same route over & over again.
So in order to create an ideal future, we will help you figure out what you want, why you want it and create plans to make it happen. :)
You don't have to stay a victim because of what happened to you, nor does your child.
As long as you are committed to change it and create a better future then you will.
Everything is possible.
Our goal is to provide you some guidance & support to set your journey on a bright track.
It is never too late to fix what went wrong.
We are here to help.
As a survivor of being molested herself when she was very little by older children, she was too afraid to tell the adults, especially when her Parents were very emotionally distant, so it created a lot of struggling for her to navigate the sea of parenthood, and when Mina's daughter told her about her being sexaully abused by her father
(Mina's then husband); life forever changed for Mina. She took legal actions despite her fears & anger and she invested into personal development & healing courses so she can heal herself as fast as she can to find her own happiness and so she can show her children how to transform from Victims to Victors.
Her husband who later on commited suicide during the legal process, who came from a family of mental illness, and he was abused mentally, physically & vsexually as a child.
It drove Mina wanting to find out why people do what they do & why they would hurt people they love.
On her path to heal & become her best self & an amazing life for her family, she met many wonderful friends who also went through childhood sexual abuse, but were told by their caregivers that they lied. So they had to stay in the toxic situations until they were old enough to leave. When she first became aware of her former spouse's crime, Mina came across an online forum where many women shared their experience either as a child, like her friends, were accused of lying & ran away when they were old enough, or as a mother who fled with the children worried the authority would not find evidences to put their partner behind bars.
It makes Mina very upsetting to think of those situations & how devastating those children felt not being trusted & protected and the times those perpetrators got away with legal consequences and potentially hurt more children in their future relationships.
Being in the shoes of both the mother & the daughter in this matter, Mina understood empowering the Mother is the way to fix this international societal problem.
For an empowered Mother would not have allowed her children to be hurt, but a mother who was brought up or suffer from her own past wounds may feel powerless to help her children.
According to an article on Erin's Law website, "1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18. If you don’t think you know a student that this has happened to think again. These children are sitting in our classrooms." -- and in our our neighborhood playgrounds, in our social groups.
It is happening all the time around us.
All these evidences shows how much child sexual abuse is such a serious issue in the world that isn't being spoken enough, addressed enough & prevented enough DUO TO all the shame towards sex & its relating problems (ex: sexual assaults & all the times we feel objectified as women in this world).
For when people feel shame, their brain's default reaction may be to avoid the discomfort feeling & avoid the subject completely, and that is why it is still such a big issue and a taboo subject that no one wants to discuss around the world.
It takes all of us to change the world & make it a better place.
And this is how our founder & creator Mina wishes to give back to this world...
Provide mindset updating & creative healing tools in 3 coaching sessions for Mothers of sexually abused children, so she can take care of herself effectively, learn to love herself more, and then be able to provide the nurturing environment her children need to heal & grow into happy & wholesome adults.
Provide Mothers of sexually abused children job-training & an opportunity to work in our company. To learn how to use creative expression to heal from traumas & create the future for a better world, and other trainings that is best suited for her natural talents.
THE TINY SANCTUARY
Provide co-housing tiny houses & the supportive community with other survivors to heal full time in a nurturing environment to transform wholesomely, and live consciously with her family.
Create retreat centers to help other female leaders to transform into their best self, so the love can ripple outward more & more.
We are in need of volunteering coaches, healers, therapists, artists, musicians, gardeners, bakers, chefs, parenting specialists & all sorts of experts join on our mission to educate & provide our warrior Goddesses with holistic wholesome & fun ways to transform their family together.
We are also looking for foundings in the near future toward land, tiny house builders. engineers & designers etc. to make our tiny-sanctuary a Dream-Come True to help mothers leave the toxic environment with their children and start a new life of wholehearted living.
Contact us to let us know what you can help with.
—Inspired by Gandhi