I witnessed my Mom in a toxic relationship as a child, she was hit many times by her boyfriend during their intense arguments, and yet she stayed with him for years. And when I became a young woman, I did NOT realize how low of a bar I had in love due to her toxic relationship and suffered the side effects in my relationships.
That painful betrayal from my late spouse led me on a devoted healing journey so I could heal my heart in the most effective way possible in order to help my children find happiness again in life. I wanted & needed to know WHY people are capable of causing such pain to others, and how I could prevent it from happening to us again.
What started as my mission to help my family became my calling in life. For I am tired of seeing Moms struggling for years in heartache while having to parent. (Because omg parenting is hard as hell on its own!! 😵💫)
And that is why I now specialize in helping Moms heal 💔 in the most effective way possible with my Creative Healing Magic Method— a collection of self-love strategies & creative healing tools to help you understand why you did what you did, how to channel the emotional pain in your heart to use that as the fuel to transform yourself & build an unshakable love with your children. (So nothing can shake your family up again!)
Mina is a survivor of child sexual abuse, and 4 years ago, she discovered that she is also a mother of a survivor as well. It happened on one fateful night (aka the worst night of her life), when Mina's 11-year-old daughter disclosed to her about being sexually abused by her father-- Mina's husband of 11 years...
Refused to see her daughter struggling through life like she did, Mina set out to find the most effective ways to heal her heart & her family... and that was how Mina found her calling.
I am passionate about helping Moms heal for this selfish reason👇
I am angry at the fact that child sexual abuse, or abuse of any type, is happening everywhere around the world
and yet nothing is truly preventing this toxicity in our world still.
After my daughter's disclosure, I got obsessed with wanting to understand
WHY people are capable of hurting others,
and then I realized that the majority of the criminals came from a dysfunctional families/environment--
a childhood full of pain, so it helped them justify their toxic behaviors of hurting others-- as it is all they know.
But, that is not a world I want my children or grandchildren to live in.
And I started my healing journey in hopes to heal my family & save my children from feeling like victims for the rest of their life, and it has evolved into my life mission.
Based on my personal experience as both a sexual abuse victim as a child & then as a Mom of one: I observed the real problem is as follows:
Moms who are emotionally closed due to unresolved past trauma/toxic relationship -> emotionally unavailable Moms who can not offer the trust & nurturing ground children need to help them navigate through their emotions when challenges arise-> that created an empty space where child-predator can use to lure the children in for their ill intention.
(and this child predator can be a boyfriend, a husband, a stepdad, an uncle,
a trusted family member or a family friend)
And such children generally grew up not understanding what a healthy relationship is like -> getting into toxic relationships -> emotionally closed for self-protection -> Moms who are emotionally closed due to unresolved past trauma/toxic relationship
And that is why I believe:
Moms hold the key to changing this toxic pattern.
so Moms can help their children for the rest of their life
and so I can help in truly preventing another generation of toxic behaviors & patterns.
MY HUSBAND COMPLETELY HUMILIATED ME, HE MADE ME A FOOL FOR BEING SO BLINDED TO HIS MANIPULATION & ABUSE.
For years, I thought my husband, John, was my best friend and that we shared everything with one another.
And for years, he made me believe that he was the better parent than me through subtle passive-aggressive suggestions masked with positive praises, aka gaslighting & emotional manipulation.
In the last 2 years of our marriage, he also made me feel like it was my fault for not making enough money, and that it was my fault for not spending enough time with the family when I did work more... It was like nothing I did was enough. I was getting so emotionally exhausted by our constant arguments that I almost left my children under his care (until I found a way to support the children on my own)...
And John's wicked plan almost worked, if it was not for the fact that my daughter accidentally told me that she was being sexually abused by him during a heated argument we had... We reported him right away, but I felt so ashamed by what John had done, hurt for all the pain he had caused our daughter, and mad at myself for not knowing... I didn't know what to do and no one I knew could really help me then.
I blamed myself a lot & felt like the biggest failure as a Mom, even though the truth is that it wasn't just me John had fooled, it was everyone who knew him. (perpetrators are great at charming others and grooming their victims, you can read more about it here).
I always thought we would grow old together, and I thought that even if our marriage didn't work out, we'd still be friends for life, protecting our children together; who would know that my husband would become the villain in our story-- the one who stabbed me in the back and hurt us the deepest...
"Thankfully" for our family, he committed suicide a month after his confession; so we did not have to hide for the rest of our lives just to be safe from him. But what that also meant is that I became a widow at the young age of 32, single-parenting two children who just became fatherless and in need of healing.
I became obsessed with trying to figure out how I could have missed the red flags (for none of us parents were taught this life-saving knowledge or even want to discuss it with one another!!) and eventually I realized it was because I trusted him more than myself, so even if I intuitively felt something was off, I overlooked it due to lack of logical evidence.
It would have been easy to blame everything on him, but honestly, I knew there was something broken within me that I needed to heal (to prevent ever getting into another toxic relationship again).
Needless to say, due to John's long-term manipulation & sabotaging on me & my children, my relationship with my daughter had been fractured for years, so I knew in my heart that she would not listen to me on how to heal or what she needed to do to prevent getting into a toxic relationship (like I did); unless I show her that I had embodied HAPPINESS in myself first, so I became devoted with learning anything that would help me find the keys to (authentic) Happiness.
I started learning personal development, by reading lots of self-help books and attending in-person workshops, buying online courses, and going to retreats, and seminars after seminars. I hired an intimacy coach to work one-on-one with me for two years to help me navigate through my own intimacy wounds. I invested lots of time, energy & money into searching for a way to help my family out of our misery.
Along my path, I observed many women who told me about the toxic relationship or sexual abuse they went through, but sadly, very few I met were able to release the pain in their hearts. To my disappointment, I discovered that many programs I purchased all teach the same strategy & method. They include mindset awareness (which I love), journaling homework (which isn't fun for a Mom after working all day), and meditation (which was extremely challenging in the beginning when my brain & nervous system was still on hyper active mode fresh out of years of emotional & mental manipulation). I was frustrated that there was nothing on the market created specifically for Moms that is not dull & repetitive.
There was so much pain in my body that I needed to get them out of my system to prevent me from getting triggered by my children all the time-- and I just did not want to cry anymore, it's exhausting and I do need my voice the next day. Since none of the programs gave me any practical tool to release those flooding emotions in me, I started painting again-- something I had given up since college, intuitively, to help me cope.
Over time, I realized that CREATIVITY is the missing bridge between useful knowledge in personal development (the mind) & traditional spiritual healing (the soul) as creativity provides a safe space for us to process & accept our emotions (the heart) while anchoring in the wisdom from a higher perspective.
I started becoming aware of art therapy and why it isn't helping more people; I believe it's because it is not very empowering for most people as many people are taught to be very self-critical about the creation itself, how that mindset distracts them from the powerful healing ability; and even if they became accepting to scribbling exercises, they would not feel their beautiful inner strength if they don't think what they created is meaningfully beautiful. So to solve this problem, I started experimenting with my Creative Healing Methodology and taught a few different creative healing classes & workshops.
During the pandemic period, to help ease the fear of uncertainty & extreme stress, I created a 21-day course to help women release stress with my simplest creative healing tool-- all you need is a pen & paper!
As it is easier to start letting go of our need to be perfect through the simple tool of doodling, and now you can learn & experience it for FREE by clicking => The Mindfulness Art Project
Most of us who went through a toxic relationship, struggle to set healthy boundaries and feel safe enough to trust in love again. I like to anchor healing through something simple & enjoyable (combined with mindfulness), so I started to practice my ability to trust again by wandering in the woods when I lived in Oregon. I observed many people rush their time when they are out in nature, there are an abundance of healing energy freely available for us all to use if we can allow ourselves to slow down & release the mental blockages we have about healing.
All of these fantastic simple yet powerful ways I used to heal myself & my family became a collection of intuitive healing systems I teach, I call them: The Creative Healing Magic (Method) 🤩
Many people think the healing journey is like a haunted house experience, calling the inner work shadow work; but my belief about HEALING is that it is a really beautiful process as we learn to love & accept ourselves, like the process from a chrysalis to become a butterfly.
And my methodology is perfect for women, as all the practices are able to be customized & flexible-- just like the feminine flowy energy; unlike most practices out there, being very repetitive-- something masculine would love but challenge for the people who dominate in their feminine. (click here to understand more about masculine & feminine energy.)
It is fascinating that the more I learn, the more I am connected back to the Eastern Taoism Wisdom I was immersed in as a Taiwanese, but now with all that I've learned in my personal development, I am able to incorporate this spiritual wisdom with psychological hacks with my creative healing method.
I have gathered the most important knowledge & key tools that I used to help me let go of most of the pain from my marriage in my Signature Course-- The Art Of Letting Go, so a Mom who left a toxic relationship would not have to go on the search & try out as many courses as I did.
Since I started to prioritize myself and work on loving myself as I am, the relationship between me & my now teenage daughter had improved tremendously. As I heal myself, and my energy gets lighter, she naturally wants to get closer to me & learn the secrets to a peaceful life. The relationship we share today is something I've been longing for 15 years!
(And I share the process I used to navigate through Motherhood during that transitional time in my upcoming mastermind!!)
In the beginning, I wanted to help other women heal the pain they carry from the toxic love in their life, but over time, I realized my true passion resides in wanting to help prevent children from getting into dangerous situations (like child sexual abuse) or toxic relationships of any type. And I find the most effective & lasting solution is by helping the Moms as no one else is as influential to the children as their Mothers.
As someone who grew up in a divorced family with parents that were emotionally unavailable, and then married someone who came from an abusive family at the young age of 20, not understanding the serious impact our childhood affected our relationships & behaviors in our life.
I realized from experimenting in our family & observing others that
Moms are the only ones that can help their children for the rest of their life
so I can help in preventing another generation of toxic relationships & suffering.
Moms are the key to solve the bigger problem,
and yet they are not getting the support they need from the world.
(Instead, we are being blamed for not doing enough all the time.)
SO MOMS CAN HELP HEAL THEIR FAMILY
AND SO I CAN HELP IN PREVENTING ANOTHER GENERATION OF
TOXIC BEHAVIORS & PATTERNS.
In 2021, I felt the call from the Universe & my heart to move to Hawai'i, with signs literally everywhere telling me that Big Island is the perfect place for me to host my dreamy creative healing workshops & retreats outdoors in the powerfully healing Nature.
Living in Hawai'i had been a hidden dream of mine but I did not think it was something I could achieve on my own for years as a single Mom. But as soon as I knew it was time to take the leap of faith, the fear of uncertainty overwhelmed me: having to move to a place we've never been, without friends supporting me there, on top of doing it during the pandemic (with the State threatening to close its borders any moment) ...it was a lot.
However, with everything I had learned, I knew I had the tools to help me process these doubts & fears and power through the moving process.
And since then our life has been magical!
We are no longer a family that is secretly struggling emotionally all the time, pretending like we are ok while yelling at each other when we get home. My children are becoming better at communicating with each other daily (you know how amazing that is when they get along and loving on one another as a Mom!).
Our healing had quantum-leaped since our move.
Looking back, I can see the gift from the pain we went through, and feel grateful for the deep unconditional love & strong emotional bond I now share between me & my children.
In fact, if you are on Big Island, you might spot us shopping at the local farmers market for the sweet fresh fruits in season, picnicking by the beach, or laughing & playing a board game at a popular restaurant waiting for our yummy food!
(it's a lot! lol)
And I understand that it may feel impossible for you that you can get off of that crazy emotional rollercoaster, I know the fear & doubts you may have towards this healing journey-- having to face your inner shadows & everything that makes you feel uncomfortable--
but trust me, the rewards on the other side is truly troth it & is freaking amazing!
I know that you've got what it takes to FREE yourself from the past,
because, once upon a time, I was a Stay-At-Home-Mom struggling with high social anxiety,
while battling with mild depression and constantly doubting my self-worth with my harsh inner critic judging me all day (the curse of a perfectionist 😩).
And this is a story from a Mom who had made one of the biggest mistakes as a parent--
failed to protect her children from "the bad guy"-- guilt that could have eaten me alive...
I thought I was such an awful Mom
and as soon as my daughter left for college, she'd stop talking to me for the rest of her life!
(One of my greatest fears)
So, if I can overcome all that adversity, I know, that as long as you are willing to do the inner work,
it is not too late for you to achieve the unshakable emotional bond that you desire with your children!
I believe you too can Rebuild A Safe & Loving Home for your children as I have,
and I'd like to guide you there, for I truly want to see you & your children feeling happy again!!
If any of what I said resonates with you,
click the button below to explore the programs I have to offer! 😉💚🙌
my life revolves around my kids, my self-care, my mission, yummy food, being in Nature, capturing or creating beautiful things, and meaningful connections!
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