Healing Abandonment Wounds With Art
I created this mixed media painting in December 2020, as a practice to heal my inner child wounds, I then created a video from the recording of my painting process, and wrote the below poetry in alignment with the speed-up video & lined it up with the music that called to me. It was such an emotional, healing & fun experience, and it really helped me prepared for my Grandfather's passing just a couple of weeks after. Life is truly mysterious & magical. (You can check out the video below) 😉
I felt like I was always alone,
always feeling out of place.
I just wanted to feel like
I belong somewhere.
Like I matter...
The silence of the black hole
followed me...
wherever I went.
I felt like I was crumbled up from the inside
blood splashed everywhere,
It hurt so much,
It left me covered in black & blue.
And the history seemed to repeat itself,
heartbreak after heartbreak,
Love always left with the lights off.
When I thought I had no more tears left in me.
Sorrow drowned me in the silence.
Why?
Why...
must I suffer this unbearable pain?
So I built a wall around me...
Refused to let anyone in, again
to leave me in the cold
on my own lonely planet.
No!
As I then pushed others away subconsciously...
...
Is this really the solution?
I refuse to accept that.
Most of us floating around in our bubbles,
afraid of being bumped into,
too afraid of getting stabbed in the heart
to open up,
So no matter where we traveled to
we feel so alone.
Maybe...
people who left us
is just mirroring
how we treat ourselves.
Then perhaps,
We should be more loving towards ourselves.
Perhaps,
the one stabbing our hearts,
the one who left us suffering alone,
left us drowning in our tears,
and abandoned us,
is ourselves.
No...
it’s not ok to break people’s hearts,
so stop breaking your own heart.
What if...
the truth is
we never needed love from others?
because we have a galaxy full of love
right within our hearts
waiting to be explored??
Everything can change,
in that moment,
we decide to love ourselves more.
Not in the way for self-preservation,
but in the way we love, naturally,
Simply trusting:
there is always plenty of love.
YOU ARE ENOUGH,
and you are worthy of all these love.
You don't have to prove anything,
you don't have to ever abandon yourself
to win others' love & affection, again.
You are always so loved.
I adore your galaxy.
Xoxo,
M
How I am healing my abandonment wounds with creative healing method.
